playground

and other memories.

i remember recess when i was little
a small town just outside of minneapolis
we’d put on
snow pants
and fleece-lined coats
and mittens
and knitted hats with the puffball on top

the first boy i had a crush on 
had his first kiss with another girl under the slide
third grade heart break
eleven years later he messaged me on facebook
said he had the “biggest crush” on me in the second grade
i told him i did, too
and, for a second, we both considered
“wow! i wish i knew! what if we’re soulmates?”
my first serious boyfriend and i broke up a few months later

there was a polar vortex in michigan that year.
it got me out of an 8am math class with my ex for a week.
he started seeing a new girl.
i started seeing a new boy.
i told him if he hurt the new girl, i’d beat his ass.
he said he’d fight the new guy if he hurt me.
“you already hurt me.”
the polar vortex ended.
then the semester.
i ran away to puerto rico.
haven’t been back to michigan since.

i moved to dallas.
fell in love.
then out.
there was a snowstorm last week.
we were snowed in for four days.
the playground is frozen over.
it has been for at least a week now.
waiting for the sun to shine long enough to melt the ice.